Posted on by Dave Woodruff
Hal Needly has never cried. In his entire 29 years on the earth, he has never shed a tear. It not that he is insensitive, in truth, far from it. He feels things very deeply, something inside the mechanism of his tear ducts just doesn’t allow Hal to cry. At least that’s what he thinks.
Read MorePosted on by Dave Woodruff
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead." she was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move" answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know", explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
Read MorePosted on by Dave Woodruff
I like you.
Or at least I like who I am when I'm with you.
When I look into your eyes,
I'm on a different planet.
I've always liked you...
Even before everyone else did.
I still do...
And I don't know if its worse if you know,
Or worse if you don't.
Posted on by Dave Woodruff
“Just drink it,” she said.
Slow night. Snow and sleet came down like slushy piss. The bar was empty but for him and her. But this is where Jonny Stoops found himself, night after night, no matter the weather.
It wasn’t for the drinks. It was for her.
“It’s on the house,” Miranda said.
She slid a highball glass toward him. The liquid within was brown, but not the amber-brown of a good scotch. This was mud brown. Grossly turbid. Like stirred-up pondwater.
Read MorePosted on by Dave Woodruff
oh!
sorry if I woke you
she says upon discovery of the slumbering silver psyche
yaaaawn
…hey…
what’s a pretty little thing like you
doing way down here?
I have a hole
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